When was the last time you thought?

The last time you pondered over and over again, tiring that pretty head of yours till it felt like exploding, from the brilliant, vivid colors of the outcome? I’m talking about the last time, in which you thought about some trivial matters, such as the current, your present and what was yet to be served on your plate, your future.
Was it too late? Too late when the realization hit in? Were you too slow? Too slow to track down the issue, sooner before it became a tangle, just like every other time? But you think you were afraid? Afraid of the outcome? So, let me guess, you just simply walked on the road paved by them, just because it felt safer and more comfortable, am I getting it right? It felt as if taking another route would take you straight into the devil’s mouth, who had been waiting for this meal to be served long ago.
Were you too overwhelmed with your past? Were you lost within its forest? Was the fact that you couldn’t change your behavior such a grave issue? Or was the fact that it didn’t live up to the morals and the expectations written on their invisible books?
You were blaring your favorite music last night as you took a sip of your favorite drink, lost within the darkness of the night and the fog that seemed to fill your abyss. When I asked you why, you simply shrugged and said it helped you cooperate with your surroundings, your only way of escape. You said you were trying to save yourself from monsters, monsters who were hunting you down and wanted to take their filthy claws on you, no matter the price.

But, how could those so called monsters that barely even existed, truly come after you?

Haven’t you ever thought that, they were the ones who planted the seed and now it had grown into a big shrub, bigger than that pretty head of yours? Oh, I can see, its roots lay deep within you.

Was that love you felt when you stared right into those cold blue shards of the ocean, as they stared right back at you? Or did you like to believe so?
Did you really like the outfit you bought when you were out shopping with your friends, earlier today? Did you like the way it complimented your figure and highlighted your best features? Or did you simply buy it because it was called the latest fashion in their dictionaries?
Did you have fun last weekend as the music blared, lights flashed and bodies moved into a synchronized rhythm? Did you feel alive?

Then why?

Why are you clutching that book, close to yourself as if it were treasure? Why are your eyes skidding hungrily over the written pages, a look of concentration plastered all over your face?

You are trying to live someone else’s life in another world that seems quite appealing to you.
What you fail to realize, is that meanwhile you are trying to live another person’s life, your life is being lived by them.
You aren’t controlling, you are being controlled. Nor are you winning, you are obviously losing.
Wasn’t it childish of you? To think that you, could win a game that was invented by them and based on their rules.They had made you believe, believe you had lots of chances laying right in front of you, where in fact, there were none. What you felt and acted on daily basis, was what they wanted you to feel and act. What you perceived as entertainment to you, was another mere idea, planted inside that head of yours. The monsters you talked about? And your belief? They were nothing more than invisible lashes, so they could have you within their power. That fog at the back of your brain? Can be easily explained by your whole being.

What do they call you again? They used to call you a marionette, but now the word seems old fashioned and the strings are not easy to deal with.
I think I remember now. You are a robot, a machine. They can do as they please with you, just by pushing the buttons of the remote.
What are you feeling after this revelation? Anger, confusion, helplessness or simply nothing?
But don’t you tire that empty head of yours no more my darling, it’s okay, for machines were never meant to feel anything.


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